lanapanda: (bittykitty)
2008-12-29 06:24 am

Meditations and Made Up Holidays

Tucked in right after the Christmas rush and the New Year's party mentality is Kwanzaa. It's a made up holiday, but that doesn't stop people from taking it seriously. In some instances, far too seriously. The church back home (I know I should be calling it 'my church' or something but I don't really feel a sense of ownership when it comes to that sort of thing) uses the holiday as a community outreach, and ties the seven principles in with various biblical references and the general need to go out and do good things for those who need it. It's wholesome, it's harmless, and it fosters a sense of togetherness where there might not otherwise be such a thing. 

Sadly, for me, it's been more of an afterthought - I only thought of it today when I was considering New Year's resolutions and it dawned on me that we're still in the middle of another holiday. So, I don't have the candles or the seven principles, or any of that right now. What I do have is the meditation - it's supposed to be for the last day of the celebration, but I think it's pretty fitting for right now:

Let us not engage the world hurriedly.
Let us not grasp at the rope of wealth impatiently.
That which should be treated with mature judgment,
Let us not deal with in a state of anger.
When we arrive at a cool place,
Let us rest fully;
Let us give continuous attention to the future;
and let us give deep consideration to the consequences of things.
And this because of our (eventual) passing.

My new year's resolution that I've been toying around with for this year was about focus. Focusing on my freelancing, focusing on Ishtar, focusing on what's important to me and in improving myself while still managing to enjoy life. But in doing that, in having focus, there is always a danger of narrowing perceptions to the point that you don't notice other important things that come along. So instead of focus, I think that in 2009 I'll try for balance instead. Not letting one thing pull me or drive me to the point of exhaustion, and spending a little time each day on something frivolous, just because I enjoy it. 

Hope the holidays were lovely for everyone, and that the New Year finds you a little happier, a little healthier, and a little more whole than you were this time last year. 

lanapanda: (sousuke)
2007-08-03 08:35 pm

A small bit of philosophical ponderance.

I ran across this in my old notebook, and I think it's from either a psychology class, or my philosophy of religion class:

"We hate in others those things, and only those things that we see and hate within ourselves." 

It's an interesting thought, anyway.
lanapanda: (sousuke)
2006-08-10 02:14 am

Thoughts on bigotry and intolerance

Yesterday evening I was surfing around on LJ and found this post via a friend of a friend. Now, when I first read it, my initial response was one of shock, and then anger. There was a sense of "how dare he use his business to further his own personal hate?" and beyond that, the question of why any business owner would feel compelled to send that kind of poorly thought out and thinly veiled hatemongering. I wrote an email expressing my dissatisfaction with him, his lack of tolerance, and his parenting habits, which I must strongly call into question if this man truly believes that Cold Case and Without a Trace constitutes family viewing. Then I dropped that same link into one of the irc channels that I frequent, because I have friends there that I knew would sympathize and probably write a letter as well.

Several hours later, and with further contemplation, I suppose I'm wondering if it changes anything. There will always be intolerant people. There will always be people who hate for no other reason than their narrow minds cannot perceive that the world is well and good in its diversity, be it ethnic, gender, sexual or other. Letting Troy Hake know that I do not approve of his actions is not likely to make him suddenly have an epiphany about his own willful ignorance. Nor do I imagine that he'll miraculously realize that he's wrong about the gay agenda and his own questionable morals. What it does do, is let that man and his company know in no uncertain terms that the world view in that email is offensive and unwelcome to a great many people. People he didn't care about anyway.

I'm not so pessimistic as to think that there won't be an effect or a backlash, because after all, we live in age of political correctness that is only slightly less constrictive than yester-years' whalebone corset. He'll apologize, because that's what's expected of him. But it doesn't mean anything in the long run, because an apology without any real contrition is like putting white paint on a pile of shit: it still stinks.

Beyond that, I'm not even angry about it anymore. Instead I feel sorry for this man, who is cutting off an entire segment of the population because of his own personal hangups. I took a lot of classes in college that didn't fall under any requirement other than my own personal interest. One of them was a philosophy of religion course. I bring it up now, because of one of the ideas put forth in our required reading. Namely, that people hate only those things that they despise within themselves. In looking at my life, and myself, I can honestly say this is true for me, and I wonder if it applies to Mr. Hake there as well. I wonder if he sits down to his 'wholesome primetime viewing' with his loving wife and precious children, and is shocked and appalled with the image of two men hugging because deep down inside there is some flicker of himself that wants to be hugged in that way. And he hates himself for it.

That is what truly saddens me. People who are filled with so much fear and self-loathing and small-minded meanness that they have no room in their lives, their minds, or their hearts for tolerance and open discourse. Isn't that what makes us human, the ability to relate? If I can't understand you, and you can't understand me and neither of us is willing or able to try to bridge the gap then... where does that leave us?

There are whole groups of people who live their lives in the artificial boxes and roles that society makes for us and we make for ourselves. Some of those people forget from time to time that there is a much wider world out there that has it's own importance and wonder to offer. Some people think their boxes are the whole world, and they fight with anyone and anything that dares to label themselves differently.

So while yes, I am still unhappy with the email and the man who sent it, and no I'm not sorry that I sent that email telling him in no uncertain terms exactly how unhappy it made me... I'm still sadly resigned to the fact that there are just some people who will never understand and don't care to. It doesn't matter who or what it's against. Irrational hate is still hate, and even worse, it's hate that can't be reasoned with and lessoned through knowledge and understanding.

I suppose the only thing I can really do is keep my own mind open, and hope that others out there will do the same.
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-08-07 07:47 pm

Birthday wishes

To [personal profile] knw! Have a happy, happy day and many more.
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-04-10 02:19 pm

Pandas are sneaky like ninja

a Ninja
You scored 12 Honor, 2 Justice, 6 Adventure, and 3 Individuality!
You are a soldier of the night. You rely on no more than your cunning and your repuation to strike fear in the hearts of lord and peasant alike. You've a sense of honor, but one that comes from within, not imposed from outside.

Black clothes and shuriken for you. You're gonna do just fine.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 96% on Ninjinuity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 6% on Knightlyness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 36% on Cowboiosity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 11% on Piratical Bent
Link: The Cowboy-Ninja-Pirate-Knight Test written by fluffy71 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-03-22 10:15 pm

I am not surprised in the slightest.

You're Farfarello!

Purposeful and focused, you don't waste time stressing over the little things. As happy on your own as with a few close friends, you're probably not a crowd person. You give life everything you've got, and you don't care what anyone else may think of you for it. Inhibitions and conformism are for other people. The only standard you're living up to is your own.

Which member of Schwarz are you?
(the extremely random quiz)

lanapanda: (Default)
2006-03-20 06:51 am

Proof that I am an Educated Panda

English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog:

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 65% on Beginner
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 39% on Intermediate
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 73% on Advanced
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 81% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-01-16 02:17 pm

I really am working, honest...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Lanapanda!

  1. The air around lanapanda is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
  2. It takes more than 500 peanuts to make lanapanda.
  3. The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lanapanda is blue.
  4. Lanapanda was first discovered by Alexander the Great in India, and introduced to Europe on his return!
  5. Olive oil was used for washing lanapanda in the ancient Mediterranean world!
  6. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of lanapanda.
  7. You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of lanapanda to reach the earth's core!
  8. Lanapanda cannot be detected by infrared cameras!
  9. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than lanapanda!
  10. Olympic badminton rules say that lanapanda must have exactly fourteen feathers!
I am interested in - do tell me about

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Lana!

  1. Lana is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
  2. Most bottles and jars contain at least twenty-five percent recycled Lana.
  3. Lana is the world's largest rodent!
  4. 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Lana.
  5. If you drop Lana from the top of the Empire State Building, she will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
  6. The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by Lana as she rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.
  7. Research indicates that Lana will be attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas!
  8. Lana will always turn right when leaving a cave!
  9. The eye of an ostrich is bigger than Lana.
  10. Lana can last longer without water than a camel can!
I am interested in - do tell me about
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-01-16 11:41 am

In Honor of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what I should do to honor someone who believed so strongly in their cause that they were willing to die for it. I'm not sure that there is anything I can do that would even be worthy. But, I'm going to try, because I feel this is an important day. Not just for the things that I have that my parents did not have, but because of some of the things they still carry that I've never really had to.

For Those Who Came Before )

lanapanda: (Default)
2006-01-11 05:24 am
lanapanda: (Default)
2006-01-06 11:37 am


Ok. I'm trying to make my schedule synchronize with as many people as possible, and I'm starting to realize that the main problem is my online people and my offline people are completely uncoordinated. As much time as I spend at this computer you'd think I didn't have an offline life, but I do.

So. Here is what my tentative schedule is looking like starting on Monday because that's when my son heads back to school and some sense of normalcy takes over the household again. ::eyes the Christmas tree that needs taking down:: I'm not putting the gaming in here, because when I do, it starts to become a madhouse. We all know I sneak it in anyways.

From 6am til around 8am I'm awake but I'm cleaning house and getting my boy ready for school. Anything I do during those two hours will be start and stop as I get my five year old out the door.

8am - noon Here is where I will be working on stuff for the site, reading for my classes, possibly editing work for my dad.

noon- 3pm housework, random errands, lunch for the baby, starting up dinner for when my son gets home. I can squeeze in minor work depending on what it is.

3pm - 6pm helping my son with his homework, chasing both kids around the house, and somewhere in there is an hour of writing time for me. I cannot write before noon, nothing good ever comes of it.

6pm - 8pm Gotta have time to do my writing assignments and research. I will also likely be roleplaying, because I am weak.

8pm - 11pm. Writing, goofing off. Exercise time on Tues. Thurs. and one other random weekday.

11pm - til? I will likely be goofing off or catching up on things that I fell behind on during the day.


Ok. I know that probably doesn't seem like a lot, but it's more than enough when you've got kids and a husband who will constantly demand attention over the course of the day. If anyone needs me to be doing something at a particular time, hit me up, let me know. I've got offline people that do at least check this journal from time to time, even if they don't do the whole web blog thing. You know who you are.


lanapanda: (fox black fox)
2006-01-05 09:39 pm

Fumoffu is Crack.

Writing fanfic about it, is also crack. That's all.
lanapanda: (Default)
2005-12-08 08:10 am

This explains how I got that benevolent dictator position.

Oh Great Cthulhu!

I have been an extremely industrious devotee this year.

In January, I fed [info]_aionwatha_ to a Shoggoth (250 points). In September, I exposed [info]demonsgate to soul-rending horrors (250 points). Last week, I stopped [info]thedens from defiling Lovecraft's grave (-20 points). In March, I rescued [info]anorexicbrownie from being sacrificed (-200 points). Yesterday, I prepared an ocean voyage to R'lyeh (200 points). In November, I bombed a cultist gathering (-100 points).

In short, I have been very good (380 points) and deserve to be promoted to High Priest.

Your humble and obedient servant,

Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!

Name some friends or leave them blank and let me look them up myself:
lanapanda: (Default)
2005-12-06 08:23 pm

(no subject)

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In January I ruled Iran as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Thursday on a flight to Bangladesh, I stole the emergency flight information card (-40 points). Last Friday I put money in [ profile] _aionwatha_'s expired parking meter (14 points). In June I broke [ profile] demonsgate's X-Box (-12 points). In March I donated bone marrow to [ profile] _acid_rain_ in a life-saving procedure (300 points).

Overall, I've been nice (962 points). For Christmas I deserve a Lego set!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
lanapanda: (Default)
2005-12-03 11:57 am

Anyone else remember when November's birthstone was topaz?

Whatever happened to golden topaz anyway? Did it become extinct or something?

Your Birth Month is November

Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years.
You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian.

Your soul reflects: Compassion, friendship, and secret love

Your gemstone: Citrine

Your flower: Chrysanthemum

Your colors: Dark blue, red, and yellow

Edit: Citrine sounds like a fruity mixed drink at a bar. v_v
lanapanda: (fox black fox)
2005-12-02 12:23 pm

The dangers of multitasking...

I just ate four Huge croissants while working on webpage stuff and fiddling with my LJ layout. I didn't even realize it til I looked at the tray and saw it was empty. >.< Anyway, I'm still working on Vyne and Jason, got some updating to do with some other stories as well, so if I'm quiet on the irc today, that's why.