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[personal profile] lanapanda

Forgiveness is a funny thing.
It warms the heart and cools the sting.

It had all started out so innocently. Art classes three nights a week. She was his model, his muse and now… and now the soon to be mother of his kid.

How the hell had he fucked up his life this badly? Michael paced back and forth across the living room with the cell phone in his hand. One little voice mail nearly nine months ago, and he still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell David. But what could he possibly say to the love of his life at this point that would convince him to stay?

“Not a damn thing.” Michael glared at the phone and considered throwing it out of their third story apartment window, but the stupid thing was so expensive that trying to explain that little indiscretion on top of the whole pregnancy issue was not something Michael was prepared for.

As if he were somehow prepared for the rest of it. A snort at that thought, and Michael pushed back his spiky red-blonde hair with an impatient movement. He needed a haircut. He needed to get back with Justin on that big museum project. He needed to call Ariana and see what time he was supposed to show up for her last appointment with the doctors before… the delivery.

The delivery. God that sounded ominous. And coupled with David’s volatile temper, those two words had never sounded more formidable than they did right now. He had to tell him. Had to. Because Ariana bringing the kid by for visitation would just not do as a conversation starter a few weeks from now.

So. He was going to call David. He would just ring him up at his job and… no. How could he call David while he was working and totally screw his day up like this? Plus Michael was pretty sure he wouldn’t win any karma points by making the Network Security Administrator for Global Designs go into a white-hot rage the day before their new security management system was scheduled to launch. So no, he couldn’t call today.

David put the cell phone down and sat on the couch. Then stood up again and picked the phone back up.

“C’mon man… don’t be a pussy. You can do this. You were man enough not to change your identity and bail on Ari, you can be man enough to tell your boyfriend you got a girl pregnant. You can do this. It’ll work out. Davy loves you. You love him. It’ll be f--”

The pep talk wasn’t really helping, but it did at least pass the time until the phone rang on it’s own and scared Michael shitless. He actually dropped the stupid thing and had a horrifically clear moment where he could see it tumbling to the coffee table and shattering into a million very expensive little pieces.

Instead, he caught it.

“Hello? Mike?” The voice on the other end of the line sounded so tiny and scared that Michael mentally kicked himself for being disappointed that it was Ari.

“Yeah babe, what’s the news?”

“I…” There was a long pause, long enough that Michael began to worry. “Sorry. I’m at the hospital. It’s time.”

“Time? Are you sure? It’s two weeks early…” He thought he’d have more time, stupid, stupid. “…no babe, it’s ok. I’m on my way. Mercy West, right? Ok, I’ll be there, just hang on. Bye.” Michael ran around the house, grabbing up his shades, his keys, his jacket, and then paused.

Leave a note or call? What the hell could he put on the note? ‘Sorry Davy, I had to run to the hospital, be back by dinner’? ‘Hey sweetie, gone to watch my not-quite girlfriend give birth to my daughter. Be back at 10’??

He pushed the numbers on the speed dial as he headed out the door.


David stood in the hospital waiting room, feeling like the bottom had dropped out of the little world he knew. Not (entirely) because of the fact that the one guy he’d always counted on to have a smile and a witty comment was quite literally falling apart. And oh how lucky he felt to be having front row seats to the debacle.

“Davy, I’m sorry. I swear. I know I should have told you. I know I should have said something before now but I was just so scared that you’d leave me and I... I can’t deal with that. I know you’re mad. I know I’ve been a complete jackass but I swear—“

“Mike, I knew.”

“You knew? What do you mean you knew?!” Michael stopped in mid-tearful-heartfelt-apology and just stared at David, completely at a loss for words.

“You were late getting to Ariana’s appointment four months ago. She called looking for you and I picked up. We… talked.” David was carefully gauging Michael’s expression, and it was only out of the deepest love and affection that he didn’t laugh at the deer in headlights look that lasted for well over a minute.

“But if you knew then… David….” Michael’s heart sank. So this would be the end of it. David saying he knew all along, and nothing that Michael said would be good enough to fix it.

“I was just waiting for you to tell me. Granted I wish that you would have said something before today, but the irony of your daughter sharing the same day as our anniversary is—“

“Oh God our anniversary! I forgot. Shit. Shit shit shit. With all of this I just completely…” Michael was in danger of bursting into tears, and before they could get thrown out of the waiting room, David took pity on him and gave him a hug.

“It’s alright. Yes I’m hurt. Yes, I’m angry. But who am I going to lash out at? Ari? She loves you as much as I do. The baby? Not her fault. You? Damn, Mike… look at yourself. I’ve watched you fall apart at every little thing and sneak around and kill yourself with trying not to overlook either of us and all I’ve got left right now is pity. A hell of a lot of pity if Ariana has that baby before you make it to the room.”

“Oh Fuck! The baby!” Michael pulled back to look into David’s face, and then gave him a quick kiss before running cluelessly down the hall.

David just watched him go with a faint, sad smile. “Yes Mike… I forgive you.”

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December 2008

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